Survivor SA

For those of you lucky enough to live in the Western Cape, you would have woken up to the sound of rain, if you had been even more fortunate to listen to the news, you would know the difference between when it rains and when it pours.

There seems to be bad news everywhere, on the news, within rival political parties, the economy and all the people just trying to keep their head above water. It seems like we're playing our own version of Survivor right here on South African soil. So I thought I'd explain the rules, or my version of them anyway, just to give those of you who aren't in the know a bit of a head start.

Rule number one:
Alliances - It's always fascinated me that political parties with (sometimes) very different political focuses and management styles adopt the "alliance" route when garnering firsthand support doesn't work. But like on the show, its never really an alliance when it comes down to the final two is it? Than its every man/woman for him/herself. So basically alliances are a sneakier way to push your own agenda and usually make sure you vote your least favourite castaway off the island. Hence the Zuma and Zille feud(is it serious enough to call it a "debacle?"). There's too many zzz's in that rivalry to keep anyone awake.

Rule number two:
Dividing into tribes. Now, in this instance you don't have to wear your bandanna but here's a thought...maybe our tribal culture could revisit some of the moral code that trumps any tribal status, like be kind to your neighbour and all that. I would hate to be accused of standing on moral high ground but occasionally I can't help but think to myself...what are we actually fighting for?

Rule number three:
Prizes are not transferable for cash and the judges decision is final. And that's the honest truth. Cue Judge Hlophe.

Rule number four:
Your lantern must be lit at all times. Here I'm torn between interpretations. On the one hand we could be talking about Eskom but they've done more irreparable damage to their reputation than anyone else can. On the other hand, it could have something to do with this little light of mine...I don't know...you decide.

Rule number five:
Immunity? We don't promise anything of that nature. Challenges? Daily. Rewards? Depends on your point of view.

So there you have it, Survivor in South Africa. Remember...outplay, outwit, outlast, not out numbered, out of the office and outhouse. I wish all our contestants luck out there today. Survivors ready? Go!