Milking It...

The SABC is in trouble to the value of R800 million. The drama at the broadcaster has resulted in protests, board member resignation, copious amounts of media attention and finally, a plea to the government for a R2 billion bail out.

Scraping the bottom of the barrel for new, fresh, cost saving ideas, the SABC has apparently been circulating emails asking staff to use resources sparingly. In fact, they've been asked to use less milk in their tea and coffee.

Instantly, the word "desperate" comes to mind. I can't imagine that the message was met with cooperation from SABC staff members. They're quoted as saying that "SABC management has Nescafe Gold and biscuits."

The story inspired me to do a rough calculation...the cost of a litre of milk at the moment is anywhere between R8 and R12. Of that litre, its safe to say that you could get a generous tea/coffee serving of about 50ml's per cup, give or take. So that means that you'd get 20 servings out of 1 litre of milk. Let's double that number because we are in a recession so for goodness sake, use less milk. So say we're getting 40 servings of milk out of one litre and at let's say R10 per litre, each serving is costing the SABC 25 cents. That's Rands not Euros. So, essentially its safe to say that the SABC is looking at long term solutions to their financial crises. By saving on milk costs, the broadcaster should start to reap the rewards in a couple of hundred million cups of tea and coffee.

Fortunately, they have a short term solution too. That same email also warned employees that they will be charged for phone calls and internet usage if they exceed their monthly limit. So as a special shoutout for all the SABC staff...don't call us, we'll call you.

An anonymous employee at Die Burger says that these emails always address SABC staff as "First citizens," just like the old days of the Roman Empire.I had a quick look at the reasons behind the fall of the Roman Empire and the list went something like this...decadence, monetary trouble, leadership and (here's my favourite) "imperial incompetance." Need I say more?

Note to self, when in Rome, don't do as the Romans do. What's Latin for "one cup of black coffee, please?"