e for "eish"

e-TV has a special, unspoken power in South Africa. Or it did, until the prevalence of satellite television. Sold as the "free and fair" channel, it is true that they have no affiliation to the government so one would assume they weren't subject to censored or bad journalism when it comes to the news. I don't know about that but I do know what they are good at, sensation. They are pros at sensationalising everything cleverly disguised in the "tone" of the news anchor. They even sensationalise the weather. Who would have thought that a simple raining or not raining could turn into an 8 minute, in depth explanation about cloud movement, strata-this, barometer-that. And all delivered in a pretty package complete with a red, white and blue ribbon. Its like we're the live studio audience on Crossing Over with John Edwards.

Let me be clear, I'm a fan of freedom of speech. I'm not a fan of drama queens though. That's the rub. Last night they reached a whole new level of absurd in the form of the "upper," as they're known. You know, that last news story that acts as a small breadcrumb for news watchers, you know...the penguin story, the 1000 kilogram cake made to look like the Castle of Good Hope. Its the small bit of hope/bone that gets thrown to viewers as a token of the sentiment that "its not all bad." Its a bit like a Barney plaster for a 6 inch deep stab wound.

Last night they comically highlighted Morgan Tsvangirai's inability to keep up with old world leader decorum. Yes, you heard me, Mr Tsvangirai shook a leaders hand to hard and too long, didn't face the guard when he was being spoken to and missed his country's flag on a podium he was addressing the media on, so horror of horror...he walked to the wrong pulpit! Shocking? No. Not really.

The man was on a worldwide begging mission to lift his country out of the $10 billion hole that they're in. Only partially successful, he was met with trepidation by foreign leaders who were concerned about the level of reform in Zimbabwe. Here's my point, a man, a Zimbabwean leader had to stand in front of the most powerful people in the world and ask for the resources that he doesn't have to save the people of Zimbabwe. He wasn't asking to host the next Olympic Games, he was asking for help to literally save his people. I can understand the reservation that he was met with but the fact remains that Zimbabwe is next on the list of Atlantis-type tragedies.

Robert Mugabe seems to have his claws in as deep as before and as far as I know, has never done the same for his people. He's also something of a recurring wart on the Zim politics, he comes with...like bread when ordering soup. So I ask you...is making fun of Morgan Tsvangirai in order? No. Is it responsible journalism? No. Is it some ridiculous, desperate effort to disregard the people of Zimbabwe as pathetic victims subject to the mistakes of their leaders, big and small? Perhaps. Does it undermine his authority and the severity of the situation? Yip.

Its a strange sequence of events that seems to ring somewhat true here in South Africa. Both of our leaders have had clashes with the top dogs. Both have worked for the cause since their youth, been detained, tortured and both are now saddled with the "Obama" responsibility of rectifying all that is wrong with their countries. Give the man a little credit, this isn't Queens country, we have our own rules here.

So have a laugh e-TV news because you're the only one who thinks its funny. Laugh all the way to the mass grave that was once the country of Zimbabwe. Next time...do the story about the cheetah that successfully takes to the wild after years of captivity, or the gay penguins who adopt an unwanted chick, or the man who can squirt milk out of his eye far enough to earn himself a place in the Guinness Book of World records because that my friends, is an "upper."

Life in the Fast Lane...

The news has been busy lately. Sure, headlines peak and dip and when there's some sort of devastation, it usually dominates headlines for as long as the disaster lasts. Therefore we have a nice steady, flow of hard news to keep keep us humans and not dancers.


This is an exception. Seems like the recession has posed a few more problems. We all know that there's less money lying around, some people are in serious trouble and others less so, either way everyone has a tangible excuse for everything from being late for work to avoiding the debtors and creditors conversation with a significant other.


I'm not saying they're related but for some reason, the money slowdown has caused a flurry of political activity. President Obama is shaking all kinds of hands that were previously dragged through the Bush backwards. The Americans gave Zimbabwe a golden handshake of note and I must say this, Morgan Tshangari, I'm not entirely sure how this story ends but I will say this...he knows how to work it.


More than that, the Taliban have indicated that they might move to India, I can't think of more disturbing news at the moment, except for the fact that North Korea is suspected of building up a strong nuclear weapon cabinet. And its not funny. The US are committed to implementing U.N penalties on the country because of a lack of transparency from ruler Kim Jong Il regarding his nuclear activities.

On the South African front, we're all about goals and soccer and making some noise for the Confederations Cup that started yesterday. Fan Ambassadors were piled into cars on a road trip around Cape Town and the Western Cape. International visitors were escorted around to tell the world via blogs and the media that South Africa is in fact, the worlds best kept secret. A secret that can no longer be kept.

All round, the theme seems to be desperate measures for desperate times. The Americans are unable to conceal the turmoil they're in and it seems that their enemies are jumping on the bandwagon to maximise any potential advantage they might have over the previous world giant. Cause for panic? Not just yet I don't think but it is time to start re-evaluating a number of things both politically and personally. What are you prepared to lose, live without, give up and what are you prepared to fight for, live for, die for?

It all seems to come down to the dollar and money is what is calling the shots of late, if not for eternity. One of my pet hates is to misquote the saying that money is the root of all evil. This is fundamentally untrue. It is in fact, the love of money is the root of all evil. So here's my advice, fall in love just not with money. It might start a revolution, not of communism but of Lennonism.