Good things come in sevens

The Big 5 have to make room in their animal kingdom for two more says South African Environmental Affairs Minister Buyelwa Sonjica. The question is, just which animals are we talking about here because honestly, what could be better than a lion, a leopard, an elephant, a rhino and a buffalo all in bed together?

I'll tell you what would be better than that...the inclusion of the whale, and the shark. Its like Finding Nemo meets the Jungle Book. So much for the bare necessities, we're going to get wet wet wet.

The minister was quoted as saying that the inclusion of these two creatures is "a very significant move for tourism because South Africa will become the only country in the world to boast a Big 7.

And the news just keeps getting better and better. Now, the South African tourism industry can offer visitors the classic safari and/or leave dry land for a shark cage dive or a whale watching expedition. What I know for sure is that the impact on tourism has nothing on the impact that tourists will experience when they witness the world's most fascinating creatures idle or frolicking along the coast. Put your cliche detector in storage, it is truly breathtaking.

So here's to seven! Seven is a much better number anyway, seven dwarfs, seven days in a week, seven years of good luck, seven continents and seven deadly sins. Whales and sharks...welcome to the family and that includes you too tourists! Welcome to South Africa, the land of predators and prey, the Big 5 that became 7.

High Flyers

News reports indicate that the 15 South African Airways crew members who were arrested in London on drug-related charges are getting off, high and dry. British authorities have dropped all charges on the SAA staff who were due to appear in court in London after they were apprehended with 50 kilograms of Mary Jane and apparently some snorting snow supplies hidden in their bags.

What was really shocking about the story was that it didn't just happen once but twice, within weeks of each other. So you can imagine the synchronised eye roll from members of South African tourism, government, SAA (we assume), media and the general public at the thought of another demerit in the Global Behavioural Tally. Another one. Generally speaking, very few get the benefit of the doubt so everyone immediately assumed their guilt (nothing says "drug smuggling" like 50kg's of The Green Dream, you know what I'm saying?). There were some who went with the theory that these drugs were actually in spiritual support for the English Rastafarian's, a bit like the missionaries who smuggled Bibles into Communist China, but its unlikely.

Tourism usually keeps things in perspective though. While some are still expecting politicians to change and complaining about government, inflation, the recession and service delivery, the South African tourism industry can guarantee Table Mountain, a hole in Kimberly, the Cape Wine Route, the Battlefields in KwaZulu Natal, game reserves, beaches, modern cities and rural villages, ex President and legend Nelson Mandela and the Big 5.

So what if our drug exports make the news? We've got fynbos for goodness sake. Fynbos. And safaris (the British love that). I do have to admit though that the charges seemed to have been dropped without much fanfare, wheeling, dealing, none of that. Suspicious? I know I am. But for now, we'll assume that all is indeed well. just be sure to pack your own bags on an SAA flight, bless them, and if the offering extends beyond chicken and beef to dope and crystal meth we'll start to worry.

Its Animal Planet calling...

There's something special about choosing a ring tone. Cell phones are the latest human appendage so its the new natural behaviour to choose a ring tone that's an extension of your personality. The trouble with me is that if I changed my ring tone as much as my mind, I'd never know when my phone was ringing. You know the feeling, a cell phone starts to squawk and you look around, eyebrows furrowed waiting for the dim, deaf idiot whose phone is ringing to answer it.

Then you remember...you made Poker Face your ring tone as a reaction to the last troll you flirted with successfully! And then you launch, as far as the opening will allow, into your handbag. Zips screech, receipts fall, your hands cup as they scoop and release. You might even stop walking for a minute and rest your bag on any available surface while you look frantically for the light at the bottom of your bag. There it is! And the ringing stops. Sigh. Note to self...choose a ring tone that's more 'classic-you' then "right-now-you."

I think I may have found the solution to the above mentioned problem. Its the latest fad in evolution, you get a ring tone that sounds like the animal in you. Yip. Do you roar? Squawk? Whistle? The good news in that the National Zoological Gardens in Pretoria have launched a fundraising initiative with Dstv's Animal Planet channel to raise funds by selling animal sound ring tones and nature wallpapers. The cause? A new penguin enclosure.

So every time your boss calls, you get taken into the wild and can finally fit in that spiritual time in nature simply by answering your phone. It puts the bird back in Tweeting.

Dstv has supplied the sounds free of charge to the zoo as part of their "constructive, value driven fundraising initiative." Apparently animal sounds are very popular in Europe and both parties are hoping that the trend will catch on right here in South Africa. Finally, you can un-cage the animal in you.

Another way to get the Big 5 on your phone (not the Big 5 mind you), is to log onto www.hummba.com to download audio clips straight onto your mobile phone about places you are travelling to. You can also upload your clips onto hummba to share with the world or just your friends. So go on, get on the wild side of life with animal ring tones and hummba.com.