A Dating Dilemna

Dating is as tricky as a rubik's cube. That's the reason people stay in going-nowhere-slowly relationships. Jumping back into the dating world can be as scary as cliff diving or bungee jumping without the expectations. A colleague of mine and I were talking about this twilight zone of single souls and how we would handle it if we were thrown back into the swing of things. To say we were confused is an understatement, what had changed? What are the current expectations? What are the do's and dont's? and more importantly, where do we find the Dating for Dummies manual?

As it turns out, we didn't have to look too far and even more interestingly is that the game seems to have changed very little. People are still running around with the "9 dating deal breakers to watch out for", "10 Ways you're preventing guys from approaching you" and "10 first date mistakes" stories. As witty and funny as these stories are, they reek of confusion and a desperation for the real answers. But the sad truth is that there are no real answers. It's a maze of people that you are trying to connect with and our status as being as unique as snowflakes, makes that search as hard as the proverbial needle in a haystack.

Besides the common rules of decent behavior and etiquette, there really are no rules and the guidelines are biased. What you're reading about, in hopes for the light at the end of the tunnel, is a personal experience that may, but probably won't, apply to you in any way. But they're a great read. I don't deny that men and women have commonalities that can be somewhat explained and possibly used in the greater good of dating, but every circumstance is different, every experience you encounter in the dating world from this moment on is your own.

You could meet a man (just in this instance) and find that he hates the way you laugh, even though every article you've read clearly states that you should laugh at everything he says, if you stopped laughing wouldn't you be breaking the rule? Would that mean that a second date would be null and void, read the fine print. Attraction is what connects people initially, love at first sight is really only lust at first sight. Once the chemistry is taken care of, naturally of course, I advice that you be open and show your true colors, however dull you might find them to be. Let fate have a little role, if that's what you believe in.

Proper Proposal

Marriage. It was a heated topic of conversation in my household recently. A good friend of mine want's to propose to his girlfriend, the news was exciting until he hit me with the proposal. A romantic dinner, a glass of champagne blah blah blah. Whatever happened to originality or a little creativity? We've seen that proposal a million times and it's certainly lost all of it's flavor.

A scary fact is that 80 percent of women in the world are unhappy with the way they were proposed too. The beach and it's romantic sunset is yesterday's news, the romantic dinner is so old it's mouldy and the billboard advertisement doesn't always work out as well as one would hope. While all of these are grand gestures, they are not what a woman wants to tell her grandchildren, she wants a story dripping with originality, one that will get the appropriate "ooh and aah" response.

So what do we do with all the men out there lacking the creative juices to make a proposal worth talking about? We give them tips that can help them on their journey on discovering the best way to propose. The wedding itself is a journey and often a stressful one, but what people lose sight of is everything post and pre wedding. It's all very important.

Here are some elements which should be in a unique wedding proposal:

1. It should be creative so your partner knows you gave it some thought

2. It has to be emotional

3. It has to be personal - Using something which your partner can relate to

4. It should be surprising

5. It should be as original as possible

Now these points may seem vague and pretty general but here's an example for you. I love to read, I often have my nose buried in a good book. And there's nothing more appealing to me than a book shop, the quaint ones that have that old book smell and a comfy couch to sample read what's on offer.

If I were to be proposed to, I would love to be taken to one of my favorite book shops, given a book I'm very interested in reading and find a ring inside, in a neatly cut hole in the book. This is simple and yet so creative. And it has all the elements I stated above. Personal, surprising, creative and emotional. I think the problem men face is that they have the wrong perception on what a woman wants in a proposal.

We are all different but at the same time unique and the common perception of the more money spent the better the proposal, is complete and utter hogwash. So I urge spontaneity, creativity and above all else originality, remember this is your story too and you want it to be a legendary one.