The Great Taboo

I remember the first time I took a drag of a cigarette, I was 17 years old. It was the when the days were simple and my biggest problem was peer pressure. If I knew then what I know now...but as they say there's no use crying over spilt milk, even if it ruins your favorite pair of denim jeans. So I started out slowly, one smoke every day. And I didn't enjoy it, not at first anyway. But I was in the group and that's all that mattered, little did I know what a ride I was in for.

Once a smoker always a smoker, it's like Heroine, people warn you about it and say that once an addict always an addict but who heeds warnings anymore? Having a warning issued is like getting one of those flyers on the side of the road, you take it but are you ever going to read it or use it? Of course not. So what are your options? There really is only one, to learn your lesson and the hard way. Human beings love that.

So I started smoking more and more often, after a meal, with my morning cup of coffee and after....well you get the point. Before I knew it I was smoking 20 cigarettes a day and at a cost of R10 a box. Outrageous! So I did what any smoker would've done, I swore to myself that once a box of 20 cigarettes reached R15 I would quit! How dare they charge that amount! Well it's been 7 years and a box of 20's is now almost R30 and I'm still puffing away like there's no tomorrow.

I tried to work out the amount of money I have spent on cigarettes over the years and I stopped myself. I'm sure I could have traveled Europe five times over with that kind of cash. Just typing that kills me a little inside. And to make matters worse, Ive been quitting every Monday for the last two years, it's a ritual that ends the same way every time. I last till about midday and then I'm ready to kill a small colleague and rip my hair out, so I reach for the nicotine that I so desperately crave and the cycle continues.

As I'm sure you're aware, it's Monday and because I see dancing cigarettes in my head, I need to at least write about smoking to ease the tension. But I am determined, and yes Ive said that every Monday for the last two years but after I woke up this morning at 4am coughing and splattering and basically battling to breathe, a little alarm bell went off in my head. It's time. Every time I am faced with a problem, I weigh up the pro's and cons, must be the libran in me. And after many cons being listed, I had only one pro. ONE! I enjoy it, immensely. Is that enough to keep me smoking? Only time will tell, but once things for sure, this addict is trying to kick this Taboo's butt. Excuse the pun.