Good Morning Vietnam, this is Mr President calling

Good governance and free speech. If they existed in unison, we would probably have a better view of politics in general. A story on News24 reported that a Vietnamese blogger was arrested and held in a jail cell for ten days because she spoke out against the government on her blog. I wonder if at some point in the future you could possibly be charged with "blogging and editing."

Anyway, the activist, Nguyen Ngoc Nhu Quynh was one of three bloggers arrested because they decided to speak out against the weenie stance Vietnam is taking against the Chinese government over a land dispute and a bauxite mine. Its not trivial, it’s a matter of nationalism I suppose. The three bloggers also had intentions of printing anti-China t shirts.

She was only released when she agreed to stop blogging. The incident is part of the government's plan to tighten up restrictions when it comes to blogging. Now you can only write about personal matters, turns out Big Brother is Vietnamese and a mouth piece for the government.

Got me thinking about free speech. By the sounds of things, South Africans exercised their free speech yesterday when they called the Presidents hotline. From what I understood, there were just over 40 "call fielders" and between them, they received 6000 calls in the first three hours of operation. Interesting, when I called at 9:30, there didn't seem to be anyone taking calls. I must have been too far back in the cue. Or JZ was still addressing his agents - telling them to keep calm, professional and "humane."

I guess they figured they'd have a few complaints. I'm not really sure if the plan to speed up delivery and "good governance" is what they will achieve with this call center. Just as a math’s equation, it doesn't make sense. 40 people for 40 million problems. The problem is that we have municipalities, government departments and initiatives who can't carry out the government's vision, is adding 40 people to the mix not going to highlight the government's inability to deliver?

Before, when there was an error on your municipality bill, you called, spoke to 20 different people, got a myriad of different stories and no resolution. Finally you'd go there, take a lifetime worth of paper work with you and be "helped" by someone who's computer says no. Now, you get to do all that in addition to calling the hotline to complain, get a little sympathy, maybe even an "I understand where you're coming from ma'am" and then...they "do what they can."

Maybe they just can't do as much as they need to. Running a country isn't like hawking. Oh, wait...maybe it is. I just looked up the definitions for hawking and yes, it seems to make sense. They are, in no particular order...

hawk  /hɔk/
–noun 1. Informal. a person who preys on others, as a sharper.
2. Also called war hawk. Informal. a person, esp. one in public office, who advocates war or a belligerent national attitude. Compare dove.
3. any person who pursues an aggressive policy in business, government, etc.

hawk  /hɔk/
–verb (used with object) 1. to peddle or offer for sale by calling aloud in public.
2. to advertise or offer for sale.
3. to spread (rumors, news, etc.).

hawk /hɔk/
–verb (used without object) 1. to make an effort to raise phlegm from the throat; clear the throat noisily.

–verb (used with object) 2. to raise by hawking: to hawk phlegm up.

–noun 3. a noisy effort to clear the throat.

(ref Dictionary.com Unabridged)

I'd say they all apply, especially the one about clearly the throat nosily. You know that happens when someone is trying to get a little attention. Zuma...you know who we're talking about.

All this got me thinking about the true price of free speech. If you're somewhere between Africa and Asia it seems like you only get one phone call and some jail time. If there's no such thing as a free lunch, why would they throw speech in the bargain bin? Nope, everything has a price, it just depends on your choice of currency (and your political association - thats always a favourite get out of jail free card). On the plus side, we're not being thrown into jail for dissing the Big Boys. So, I'd like to propose a toast...to blogging and every other form of telecommunications! Long live the Information Age. Long live the ideals of Free Speech. Out live the empty vesels.

Broken Telephone...

The President's hotline opened today at 9am. I called. There was no answer. I can't tell you how surprised I am. A government who wants to create open channels of communication with the public and what do you know? Those channels are closed.

There is some mental back peddling on my part. It goes a little something like this..."Oh, shame, it is only the first day. Maybe they're experiencing some technical difficulties." Yes, my sympathy vaccination is wearing off.

But hang on? This is the President's hotline we're talking about. Its not some lame, unfunded political party that believes in three day weekends, mandatory advanced driving lessons and free lemonade stands in previously disadvantaged areas. No, no. This is the President. Surely, he could pull a few strings to make sure it was all systems go by Monday morning at 9am.

That's one of the things we get wrong here in South Africa, politically in any case. We give away too many chances. Its like a life size game of Survivor China and we're behaving like the James and Denise's of the bunch. Giving away too many chances. That's why there is a hotline I would imagine. Because we're not keeping our promises, we keep letting it slide, to the point where there is a landslide of problems to tackle and no one knows where to start, so no one does anything. Do you want me to tell you how it ends?

We have a whole lot of frustrated people, taking whatever action they deem fit - that striking stuff...that's big now - and well, little else. I have to tell you, I didn't know too many people pleased about Jacob Zuma's appointment. I am impressed with his PR team though. He's taken the "sentimental" approach almost as far as President Obama. Visiting rural communities, talking to locals about service delivery and then of course, the hotline.

Now, I really hate to be the bearer of bad news but just what kind of caller are they hoping to attract to this hotline. I can tell you that in my opinion, call centers are the last person that you want to hear on the other end of the line. "Hi, this is Yellowreen, calling from Autopage/MTN/Vodacom/Cell C, we have a fantastic new offer, available for just one day only and we chose your name to sell it to." Lucky me.

The difference is that this is an inbound call center I would imagine. So that then begs the other question...firstly, who is going to lodge these complaints/ calls/queries and have these people been suitable trained to represent their party, the President and the people? There's a cul de sac right there. You can't be on all three sides, its impossible.

I am fortunate enough to allow myself the assumption that this hotline is the answer to President Obama's Facebook page. I think P Diddy Zuma should get himself online. Its the future. Besides, then no one will have to be paid to field calls from the Crap Talk types. You know...the ones with very narrow views on the country, who put their situation above the bigger picture, the people who just want to talk about race, complain about everything, the people who don't know a thing about politics but act like every regurgitate argument is an original thought.

The best part...everybody with an opinion is an expert and everyone believes that they are right. Like "How can the government spend so much money on cars and not on service delivery?" Or, "Why have a presidential jet/multi million Rand inauguration party/drunk judge on the bench/leader who stood trial for rape and had the charges of corruption dismissed?" I would put money on the fact that these are the questions that are going to be asked and what, I wonder are the scripted answers?

I might try and call again later and see if they have any answers to these seemingly rhetorical questions. But you know how it is, if its not working now...who knows when it will be working. That's South Africa, if its already broke, why fix it?

But, it was a nice sentiment. Wonder if the "Umshini wam" will be the on-hold music?